Happy New Year!

It’s hard to know where to start; do I go with the obvious ‘well 2021 didn’t turn out quite how we expected …’ or do I skip that and go with 2022 is a new year, with new opportunities to make a difference in our own lives, and the lives of others.

While I don’t want to delve into it too much, it is important to acknowledge that the pandemic has brought a lot of uncertainty, and with that has come stress, anxiety, and depression for many. For some people, it’s the first time they have really experienced anxiety symptoms, while for others their usual low level anxiety has escalated to severe anxiety. Although on the plus side mental health and seeking support and counselling have been much more open and talked about, and we’ve embraced the convenience of online counselling, it’s also been fairly widely reported that alcohol consumption is up, and covid kilos are a thing.

Though it’s not surprising that coping strategies like alcohol and over-eating have increased over the past two years, we also know that many people have looked to form new hobbies and positive habits during this time, and the new year is a great time to review those habits and look ahead.

Out with the old, and in with the new

While a new habit can be almost anything, some of the most common new year changes are around eating, drinking and exercise. And these can also be some of the hardest to get to stick. Why is that?

I’ve written previously about habits, and noted that habits are hard to break as they have a function; they’re mental short cuts, things that we can do without thinking, and we’re getting a reward from the habit. For example, if you are a smoker, chances are you’ve come to associate smoking with stress relief; the deep breaths involved are calming and, over time, the whole process is now a stress relief or calming habit for you. Alcohol has become a bit of an answer to everything; “Had a good day? Great, relax with a wine!”, “Had a bad day? Have a drink and take your mind off it.” Food similarly can become a bit of a go to for emotional ups and downs.

Where to start to change a habit?

Firstly, really pinpoint the why. Why do you want to change; what is the new outcome you’re looking for and why is it important to you? This will help you to focus your efforts in the right place to start with. Change is hard; it requires letting go of things that we have previously found useful in some way, so we need changes to feel positive and right for us to commit to them. The change needs to be aligned to our values and be directed towards an outcome that is positive and meaningful for us.

Also, focusing on the new outcome you’re looking for is a good way to make habit changes positive, or ‘additive’; you’re adding something to your life rather than that negative focus on taking something away, or ‘quitting’. For example, rather than “I’m going to stop hanging out with toxic people’ maybe the focus is “I’m going to spend more time with people who I feel good being around’, or swap “I’m going to eat less” with “I’m going to eat more … fruit … and veggies!”. If you’re thinking new year new career (or joining the ‘great resignation’), perhaps shift your perspective from the idea of quitting your job, and focus instead on adding skills, studying, working with a mentor etc to move towards work you really value.

Slow down

Set realistic goals and build milestones into bigger goals. For instance, if your goal is to start running, start with a program like ‘couch to 5k’ which breaks that bigger goal of running 5 kilometres into smaller, more realistic, steps.

By slow down I also mean savour and enjoy each step, in a ‘stop and smell the roses’ sense. If you are out walking or running, pay attention to your surroundings, enjoy being in nature, stop and take it all in. Savour your food and drink; pay attention to smell and texture and colour as well as taste. Be present with who you’re with, where you are, and what you are doing.

Plan for success, but don’t get too hung up on it

Set yourself up for success by having any supplies, tools and equipment you need ready to go, and then go for it, just get started. If you miss a day or have a slip up it’s not the end of the world and no reason to abandon your efforts altogether. Think of little kids learning to do something new, like putting on socks and shoes. We don’t get say ‘oh well you obviously can’t do this, just give up’ when they can’t do it first go! Instead, we generally keep helping and remind them that they can keep practising and try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, until one day it clicks, and they just do it automatically.

How long does it take to embed a new habit?

There are a few answers to this; for many years the idea was that a habit can be broken, or made, in two weeks. However a 2010 study at University College London found it took an average of 66 days for a behaviour to become automatic for the participants in the study. Other research suggests its less time than this, but still allow at least a month. Some guides say you must never slip up but, for most people, taking longer and forgiving the occasional slip on the way actually supports better adoption and long-term maintenance of the new behaviour. Persistence is key!

So, where to actually start?

Here is my 5 P’s – a 5-step summary on making a change and forming a new habit.

1. Pick a goal or target - make it simple and achievable and break the big goal into chunks

2. Plan how you will reach it – what are the pathways, and are there any roadblocks you need to move?

3. Practice – start your new habit. Adjust the plan if you need to but keep practising

4. Praise yourself – have a reward when you reach your goal or target

5. Persist – don’t give up the whole thing if you slip up

And, if I was to add a 6th ‘P’, it would be Pals! Getting help, whether that’s someone else making a change with you, or simply offering some words of encouragement, can make a big difference.